The curse of the dying vibrators.

For being named after a goddess the rest of the forces in the Verse have chosen to conspire against me. I am not amused.

Since my last post I have procured a few new vibrators. A few new vibrators that I really liked. A few new vibrators that I really liked that I made sure to take great care of. A few new vibrators that I really liked that I made sure to take great care of that are all now dead.

Of course the one died just days after the return day for malfunctions too. Don't try to deny me pleasure like that. It doesn't end well.

In other, much happier news, this weeks Oglaf is wonderful and if you're not following it, consider it my order that you go through and read through them all this weekend. Don't disappoint me.

Speaking of slut viruses, I've been insatiable this week. I've been having some nice and specific cravings as well. I've been dying to have a sexy brunette woman in my bed to fuck with my strap on. I also want her bound in my jewel tone blue rope while I deliver my own special brand of punishment and see just how many ways I can make her squirm.

Universe, deliver this to me.

All my vibrators are dead.

I'm not sure who I pissed off to deserve this but I am very sorry and I promise the chances of me doing it again are slightly reduced.

I'm not sure why I have such awful luck with vibrators. I'm hoping that for the one that just died today that it's only that the connector is flattened a bit. Whatever. I need to buy some new toys anyway.

What I really have my eye on right now is the Sasha Grey Swell Wand.

Not only is it gorgeous but it's glass which I am very much a fan of. Unfortunately it's sold out on Eden Fantasys so I have to wait a little bit longer. The news that makes me your happy Mistress though is that All orders on there today get a free finger vibe. Guess who's absolutely getting some new toys today.

I think it's love

I've been unwinding from a hectic week today with some nice rum and online retail therapy. What's been catching my eye you might ask? Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and my new favorite site, Eden Fantasys.

For those not in the know, you poor little dears, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is a wonderful perfume company. The have hundreds of sexy and seductive scents including a line for you Saints & Sinners. Go on, indulge your bad and sexy self! BPAL also has some bath oils and soaps to pamper and wash away all your dirty little secrets. With scents like The Harlot's House and a series of scents inspired by the works of Neil Gaiman, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is less of a temptation and more of a must have for seductress worth her salt.

And on the topic of sexy, if you've never been to Eden Fantasys, go now. Just this once, I'll wait.

I learned of EF last night when someone told me about some of their giveaways which included getting 3 vibrators for just the shipping cost. Nearly $100 for less than $6. I looked today and it seems that some of the offers have changed. Now with the free gift instead of a vibrator they're offering a vibrating cock ring. However you can still get the vibe from signing up for the newsletter.

If that's not good enough for you greedy little things then browse around the site. Maybe search for something you'v been coveting for a while. Those 5 points you just got just for searching? They go towards a gift card that you can redeem. In addition to the gift cards you can get there're also great reviews, a zine, videos, a forum and tons more. Yes, you've just found your new favorite website.

Visit Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab
Eden Fantasys

It's Party Time!

I mentioned a few posts ago that I have a friend who does those Home Party Sex Toy things. Y'know the one where "The girls" get together for cosmos and laugh while trying to figure out what kinds of crazy and sexual words everyone can come up with for all the letters in Cindy's name. All while some lady (a distant acquaintance of Betty) tries to pedal off vibrators and elaborately flavored lubes.

Actually, it sounds kind of fun.

My mom's gone the various make up/skin care routes and is now doing Princess House so the concept of the home parties thing isn't entirely unknown to me. I'm starting to consider looking into it. I love talking about sex and girl I can sell a vibrator like nobody's business. At least I'm sure I'd be able to.

The Little (Wannabe) Sex Worker Who Could

The Toy Box

Here are some of my favorite toys:

Floggers - My first real intro to floggers was at a party. I was familiar with them but had never used them or had them used on me. Let me tell you, it's wonderful. They can be made to have more of a stinging feeling or more of a thud. Of course after the beatings running them lightly over flesh feels amazing.

Vampire Gloves - These aptly named gloves are one of my absolute favorite things ever. Run your nails lightly over your skin. Feel good? Of course it does. These gloves have tiny spikes on them and give you that same sensation as having someone lightly run their nails over your skin. Scary name but at least for me, these are for playing nice. :)

Rope - I'll admit it. I'm a rope addict. Gimme 15, 30, 50 feet of that 6mm nylon goodness. When someone puts me in a harness that rope feels like a favorite well worn t-shirt. Did I mention it looks fucking amazing too?

Suspension is another aspect of rope that has to be experienced. Wanna fly? Get suspended and see how quickly you get addicted to it. Another great thing about rope is the knots. You can tie them anywhere.

Anywhere.

And of course the knots lend themselves well to...

The Hitachi - Here's why:
1. Get (SAFELY) tied up with some knots down in your lower area with at least on over your clit.
2. Turn Hitachi on an press against one of the knots
3. You're welcome


And those are some of my favorite toys!