Before I do today's challenge, I need to vent for a second. I don't mind that other people have all sorts of different sexualities and are made completely uncomfortable by even the though of things like masturbation. That's your own damn sex life. However, when you take your issues out on me, we have a fucking problem. I swear I want to live in a place where sex isn't such a taboo. Anyway, on with the challenge.
2. Story/age that you lost your virginity.
I was 17 and it was to my boyfriend, Ben. I was a bit of a late bloomer. I was never that interested in having boyfriends and only had 3 or 4 before him. The actual experiences wasn't that memorable. There was no bleeding or severe pain or anything, just a little soreness from never having had something so large inside of me. It was after school at his house. His brother who normally comes home with is was staying late for school and his parents were at work. The sex itself was pretty good. He was experienced which made my experience all the better. We broke up several months later and when people asked if I was upset because I lost my virginity to him people seemed disappointed when I said no. If anything, it helped me really come into my own sexually. See kids, responsible sex before marriage can be good! Yeah I'm the world's best role model.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Reading Materials
Hello loves,
I apologize for my absence. Yours truly has been off exploring England. So far it's consisted of lots of chocolate, walking, and sex. It's a terrible existence. I leave for Paris tomorrow. I'm expecting even more chocolate, walking, and sex in addition to gorgeous lingerie and crêpes.
I wanted to pop in an let you all know what I've been reading of late. I started devouring Whores And Other Feminists a few months ago but was unfortunately unable to finish it. A quick trip to the local library remedied it for me. Although a tad dated, Whores is still an excellent collection of articles and interviewers from sex workers and female pioneers in the sex industry on what it is to be a sex worker and feminist. Published back in 1997, women have come a long way but the relevance of so many of the articles proves that we still have so far to go. This book is incredibly empowering and I recommend it to anyone, female or male, sex worker or not.
Take care darlings. And drink your tea. It's good for you. x
I apologize for my absence. Yours truly has been off exploring England. So far it's consisted of lots of chocolate, walking, and sex. It's a terrible existence. I leave for Paris tomorrow. I'm expecting even more chocolate, walking, and sex in addition to gorgeous lingerie and crêpes.
I wanted to pop in an let you all know what I've been reading of late. I started devouring Whores And Other Feminists a few months ago but was unfortunately unable to finish it. A quick trip to the local library remedied it for me. Although a tad dated, Whores is still an excellent collection of articles and interviewers from sex workers and female pioneers in the sex industry on what it is to be a sex worker and feminist. Published back in 1997, women have come a long way but the relevance of so many of the articles proves that we still have so far to go. This book is incredibly empowering and I recommend it to anyone, female or male, sex worker or not.
Take care darlings. And drink your tea. It's good for you. x
Thursday, April 14, 2011
L'amour
"Let's set a goal that in two years we'll only be able to talk dirty to each other in French."
That's what Jason said to me during a conversation about the French we used to know (grew up learning it but lost it when my parents divorced) and our shared desire to pick up the language again. I have to admit, it's an excellent incentive. Of course this is also where my mind runs away from me and I imagine leading him on an elaborate treasure hunt with little cards with phrases or words in French which would lead him to his next clue or destination. Érotique, non?
Anyway, I'm working through Livemocha, old French textbooks and every Audrey Tautou film I can find to get as much re-exposure to the language as I can get. My Facebook is in french and I'm even considering buying a few french cookbooks. Learn french and how to cook. I'll be a domestic Goddess in no time! (Me? Yeah right!)
At the very least I'll be on my path to being the multilingual diva I've always wanted to be. Knowledge is sexy and who doesn't want to be seduced by a french maid who actually speaks French?
Oh la la!
That's what Jason said to me during a conversation about the French we used to know (grew up learning it but lost it when my parents divorced) and our shared desire to pick up the language again. I have to admit, it's an excellent incentive. Of course this is also where my mind runs away from me and I imagine leading him on an elaborate treasure hunt with little cards with phrases or words in French which would lead him to his next clue or destination. Érotique, non?
Anyway, I'm working through Livemocha, old French textbooks and every Audrey Tautou film I can find to get as much re-exposure to the language as I can get. My Facebook is in french and I'm even considering buying a few french cookbooks. Learn french and how to cook. I'll be a domestic Goddess in no time! (Me? Yeah right!)
At the very least I'll be on my path to being the multilingual diva I've always wanted to be. Knowledge is sexy and who doesn't want to be seduced by a french maid who actually speaks French?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Why I'm not "better than that"
I talked to Jason about my desire to do sex work. He was less than enthusiastic.
"I would be uncomfortable with that...you're better than that."
Am I? No, it's not a self esteem thing. It's the fact that that statement insinuates that those involved in sex work are lesser people. I find nothing about my desire to do sex work lowering or degrading. I'm an intelligent, college educated woman who is already planning out her 2nd degree. If anything, I'd be proud to do sex work because I'm working to break the stereotype that all sex workers were abused growing up and were forced into the industry by men or financial situations. Yes, there are women forced into it by circumstances and it's certainly not something I think is right. A person should be allowed to go into whatever occupation one wants without coercion or shame. It's exactly what I want too, the ability to pursue sex work without people telling me I'm lowering myself of immediately assuming I'm "broken".
It's something I'm trying to help Jason to understand. I get the uncomfortable thing, that was expected. I just want him to at least realize that I'm not lowering myself by wanting to do this. We're both very sex positive people and he's had no issue prior with other people seeing my body.
Will he come around and be ok with my desire to cam? Maybe, maybe not. However, if I can at least get him to see things from my side and realize the people involved in this industry are just as valid and worthwhile as any other person in the world, I'll be happy.
"I would be uncomfortable with that...you're better than that."
Am I? No, it's not a self esteem thing. It's the fact that that statement insinuates that those involved in sex work are lesser people. I find nothing about my desire to do sex work lowering or degrading. I'm an intelligent, college educated woman who is already planning out her 2nd degree. If anything, I'd be proud to do sex work because I'm working to break the stereotype that all sex workers were abused growing up and were forced into the industry by men or financial situations. Yes, there are women forced into it by circumstances and it's certainly not something I think is right. A person should be allowed to go into whatever occupation one wants without coercion or shame. It's exactly what I want too, the ability to pursue sex work without people telling me I'm lowering myself of immediately assuming I'm "broken".
It's something I'm trying to help Jason to understand. I get the uncomfortable thing, that was expected. I just want him to at least realize that I'm not lowering myself by wanting to do this. We're both very sex positive people and he's had no issue prior with other people seeing my body.
Will he come around and be ok with my desire to cam? Maybe, maybe not. However, if I can at least get him to see things from my side and realize the people involved in this industry are just as valid and worthwhile as any other person in the world, I'll be happy.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Independence and the life
Is it wrong that despite having someone offering to pay for me to travel, I'd still prefer camwhoring so I can do it on my own?
I've never been comfortable with other people taking care of me. Even when I was on crutches I insisted on doing things on my own. Growing up I learned to stand on my own to feet so now that I have someone willing to help me and take care of me, it's hard to accept it. I'm trying to swallow my pride but I'd much rather go on a vacation that I can contribute to (or completely finance) than be taken out.
Am I trying to keep a distinct separation of the two things, being paid for my company vs wanting to treat me because my own company is a gift? We love each other so who am I to deny him having me around. I love him and I'd love to spend that time with him. Maybe he thinks that if he does this I won't be so interested in sex work anymore. That's not the issue. I'll still be interested in the things I'm interested regardless of the time and money he spends. Work won't change my feelings for him. He's a separate entity.
A job is a job. You just separate the two.
I've never been comfortable with other people taking care of me. Even when I was on crutches I insisted on doing things on my own. Growing up I learned to stand on my own to feet so now that I have someone willing to help me and take care of me, it's hard to accept it. I'm trying to swallow my pride but I'd much rather go on a vacation that I can contribute to (or completely finance) than be taken out.
Am I trying to keep a distinct separation of the two things, being paid for my company vs wanting to treat me because my own company is a gift? We love each other so who am I to deny him having me around. I love him and I'd love to spend that time with him. Maybe he thinks that if he does this I won't be so interested in sex work anymore. That's not the issue. I'll still be interested in the things I'm interested regardless of the time and money he spends. Work won't change my feelings for him. He's a separate entity.
A job is a job. You just separate the two.
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